Maybe it started before you even put your feet on the floor. Maybe it happened when you went to wake your kids up and stepped on legos or whatever god awful sharp (dagger) toy they left out. Maybe it’s when you go to let the dog out and realize they already used your rug as potty area. Or maybe you made it all the way through breakfast before one of your kids decided they didnt care about school today and they refused to cooperate, followed by rolling in the floor in protest.
That is about how I felt when all of this things happened this morning. I opened Instagram to numb my life for a moment and peer into the gorgeous perfect lives of others day dreaming about how grand it must be to be them. When suddenly in my euphoria I see my newish ex-husband with my ex-friend. Their faces stretched into giant smiles and pressed together after running a marathon. The caption read “running with my favorite person”. I stared and froze. I had about 30 emotions in 10 seconds flat- some sort of record. I instantly wanted to cry because here I was with the kids, here I was doing the hard things, carrying on by myself with the plan that we had made together.
- Buy house (fixer upper)
- Homeschool perfect little kids
- Start a garden
- Live happily ever after
Except None Of That Happened.
Ok, we did buy the house in desperate need of renovations. Which I still have and literally have half the floors done. Yep, HALF.
I did start homeschooling, then he left. I did start my garden. All of it alone.
Today is shit. Every minute a reminder of the struggles that no doubt I share with millions of other women. But it’s just shit and that is ok.
It’s ok to have a shit day sometimes. I am learning to be cautious of how long we stay in this shit mode because trust me it can last for much longer than a day. I try to keep it to one day or even a half day though.
So cheers to a shit day of life and homeschool! Tomorrow the sun will come back up and we will get another shot to do it all over again. (If we are so lucky)
Wishing you the best non shit day tomorrow!