I have come to realize we usually tell others to do the things that we really need to hear. This is one of those times for sure.
I am seriously guilty of taking things too seriously. I worry and obsess over things that I have zero control over. Tell me I am not alone in this?
Just today I had a moment I was almost outside of myself yelling at my 10-year-old who was screaming at my almost 9-year-old about video games when everything just hit slow motion.
It was like the matrix except in my living room and we were in the middle of a hail storm of angry words being thrown around. I got really quite and watched my boys yelling at each other. Seeing the frustration on their faces made me realize they weren’t really fighting over the video game. When I examined my own behavior I realized I wasnt yelling about the kids yelling. I was frustrated. The kids were frustrated.
I was angry that I felt inadequate being a single parent. I didn’t have a husband to yell to for help with calming down my kids. There is no one ever to step in and help out. That realization hit me hard.
All of the stress I deal with on my own (autoimmune issues, divorce work) was spilling into my kids lives despite how badly I wanted to shelter them from it.
I was yelling at a kid to stop yelling at his brother and it was like wiping your ass on a hoola hoop. Around and around we went and we just kept smearing shit from one person to the next. (figuratively of course)
So here I am full on Hulked out (hence the pic) about to start smashing my way through the room and I was gifted this slow glimpse into what was happening. The kids came to me with a problem and my answer was
Start yelling in response which of course takes us back to where things stopped. I got quite, I listened. I heard the pain in their voices. I stopped the insanity and once I spoke individually with my kids I realized just like me they were carrying this pain, this anger around about something else and it came out when something pulled the trigger. In this case a stupid comment from one to the other. Then I came in with my two cents of yelling to add to the crazy.
I know I am yelling get to the point already in my head too.
Point being we need to sometimes take a time out to lighten the load on our minds before responding to situations with aggression that only leads to more problems.
Life is short, it can be painful and difficult but it can also be beautiful and worth every second of hardship
Now I will be slowing down and trying to lighten up before I snap and turn into the Hulk trying to smash everything in my path. Dont think I am perfect. I will be proud if I can do this at least 1 out of the next 3 times because it will start to become a habit and you know what they say about habits..
If they are good they lead to good things of course!
smashing... I mean calm enlightened thinking 🙂